I sit by myself.
Quietly.
I feel my breath move in
and out.
I want to shout.
To scream.
To feel emotion.
To feel something.

I look over and realize he is asleep.
Sound, fast asleep.
How can he do that? And so easily?

I’ve never felt so lonely
yet people know us as a couple.
A happy couple.
Who laugh and share.
What a joke. (on me.)
This makes me laugh out loud.
My giggle does not wake him.
Did I want that to happen?

A couple of years earlier
I would never have dreamed about this situation.
Either wanting it or being in it.
How did I get here, anyway?

Now I am trying to find a way out.