Dear Daddy Long Legs,

Why are you so intrusive?

You have broken the pact

And now you must meet your demise by my hands

The Rules Read:

Don’t cross into the bedroom

Don’t get on the bed

Never stare me down and jump at me with such conviction

But like your many legs

You are full of daring motives

And now your reign of creepiness must be stopped

Sincerely,

The woman who wailed Valhalla as she hit you with her shoe