DogSpeak #20 In Dog Years

Humans like to calculate
our ages in dog years,
seven of ours to one of theirs.

We dogs like to think
our life span on earth is shorter
because we have less to learn.

These figures are guesstimates
averaged out for the life cycle
of dog and man.

A good life for a dog is 12 years,
which translates to 84
in human years, yes a good life.

Yet the average age of a human
is 80 and brings a sense of worry –
what if we outlive our human?

A better thought for a dog is
what if we outsmart our human?
Well that’s easy.

Bark at cars, bikes, kids, cats,
bunnies, errant leaves, and your human
will look and look and see nothing.

Scratch frantic at something under
the den chair, whine; your human will
leave his dinner unguarded. Too easy.

Give a human 7 years to figure out
how to make friends with everyone
he meets. He’ll need more time.

Tell him that he got it backwards,
that in dogs years, he’s actually
over 400.

Turn in circles 9 times when you go
to bed; when he asks why not 3 times,
tell him you’re an overachiever.

Kiss him, tell him dog saliva
has magical powers to mend
anything broken, like a heart.

He feeds you at 7:30 every night;
let him know how proud you are
of him; he’s finally trained.

~ J R Turek