I’m one of the lucky ones.
I’ve never been assaulted.
I’ve never been molested.
I’ve never been stalked.
I’ve never been raped.
But:
I have tried changing how I walk so my hips don’t sway.
(Because that would be provocative.)
I have been propositioned in a store late at night by a man old enough to be my father.
(Because I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit with shorts over it.)
I have hidden in the staff room to avoid male patrons who make a beeline for my desk.
(Because they can’t take a hint and don’t go away and I can’t say anything because customer service.)
I have asked my brother to not say he “raped” an opponent in video game matches.
(Because I know at least three women who have been raped and the joke isn’t funny.)
I have cut men out of my life for betting too close to comfort and was chastised for blowing it out of proportion.
(Because apparently I can’t accurately assess my own sense of safety.)
I have faced a man twice my age trying to lure me away from my friends at a convention, a place I was supposed to be safe.
(Because I wore something pretty and was too polite to say “No, I’m not comfortable with this.”)
I have avoided being friendly with men.
(Because I don’t want them to think that I’m being flirtatious.)
*
I’ve never been assaulted.
I’ve never been molested.
I’ve never been stalked.
I’ve never been raped.
But:
Statistically, I have a 1 in 5 chance of being raped
and a 1 in 20 chance of facing sexual violence in some fashion during my lifetime.
I don’t like those odds.
Do you?
(And remember: I’m one of the lucky ones.)