The Wonder Dog

Our Bandit, my baby
My old baby
Muzzle gray
Eye milky
Fatty tumors on his tummy
Often sore, he doesn’t like to be touched
On his belly
He sleeps under blankets – always has
He sleeps with us – always has

He sleeps more and more
He growls and bares his teeth when John works on his eye
He snaps

Fifteen come October
He’s slowing down and full of life
Still stupid around cats
Tries to hump any dog from any angle
(Don’t worry bitches, he’s fixed)

Terrified of thunderstorms
He shows signs of PTSD during fireworks
As a puppy, he was “rescued” and bounced from family to family until he settled with us

Bandit loves long walks in the park
Catching squirrels with John
Car rides,
Bike rides
I hope he still likes bike rides
He tumbled out of the basket the last time we rode.
He doesn’t like his feet wet.

Bandit pees in the corner
We have an agreement
We take a walk if he doesn’t pee in the house
He shook on it
He’s peed in the corner one time since and was chagrined

Bandit thinks it’s polite to drink from the puddle before gingerly walking through it.

He defends us from the murderous postman daily
He protects me from John or anyone else that comes too close to my chair without petting him first

Bandit is always concerned about our diet
Sniffing and inspecting our mouths and food to make sure

He knows when I’m sick or hungover and stays by my side

He’s a wonder dog.

He has his own theme song

Bandit, the wonder dog
He’s a wonder
He’s a dog
He’s the wonder dog!

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