Why couldn’t he handle it?
I knew he couldn’t
deep down I knew
but, I didn’t

It’s not the kind of thing
you tell about on
your first date
but still

I knew but I didn’t think he
I thought he couldn’t
he didn’t ask
didn’t say

anything but ‘Oh wow’ I
could take but then
‘oh wow’
became ‘Oh’

‘Oh’ then dissolved into
silence even his
breathing just
said ‘oh’

Neither of us could
hang up
the damn phone
just ‘Oh’

I’m not even sure
either of us
said goodbye
couldn’t

I didn’t even do it
I didn’t kill anyone
my mother
did

in self-defense
protecting
me, from dad
me, us

All he could say
was ‘Oh’
even my mom
liked him

She knows why he
couldn’t – not
wouldn’t
could not

But I don’t

At least, that’s what
I have resolutely
told myself
for forty years

that she wrote in
her diary.
It would all be the
truth

because, God knows
all I could say by
then was
‘Oh.’

– Mark L. Lucker
© 2023
http://lrd.to/sxh9jntSbd