How to Bowl

My grandfather was a bowler
pretty good, in fact
national tournaments
league championship teams

Once he bowled a 299
during a league championship
‘299 and a wiggle’ proclaimed
tongue-in-cheek trophy
300 is the most you can score

His teammates gifted him
bowling pin
hand-painted with

Gramps’ caricature –
replete with cigarette dangling
from thin lips, slicked-back
jet-black hair, mischievous eyes

Like many of his immigrant ilk
my grandfather was a
voracious reader

that Christmas
shortly after bowling his 299
Gramps’ cousin
unsurprisingly gifted him a book

How to Bowl was opened
so I was told
to uproarious laughter
Gramps, smooth as Norsk custard
thanking his cousin
with a satisfied grin

kept the book in his bookcase
the next thirty years
caricature bowling pin on
living room floor next to it

When he died
one of my cousins got the pin
I kept the book
even though I have no use for
1947 World Bowling Champion
Ned Day’s advice on

etiquette toward my pin boy
what a Brooklyn Bucket is
difference between
‘pie alleys’ and ‘cheese-cakes’

Though I still love to bowl
I don’t very often, still
How to Bowl is always handy on
the small shelf above my desk

Where I can always pull it down
for quick brushing up on
arcane lingo, quirky phrasing
(all heard in my grandfather’s ‘tick’
Norwegian immigrant accent)

I can also grab How to Bowl
for more meaningful refreshers on
being able to have a
laugh at my own expense
appreciation of doing something well

and just how to always be the coolest
goddamn dude in the room

– Mark L. Lucker
© 2019
http://lrd.to/sxh9jntSbd

14 thoughts on “How to Bowl

  1. ‘299 and a wiggle’, dig that line. I think the most I ever rolled was 230-240.

    Love the story here, one thing I’d suggest is bringing in some of the sights and smells of the bowling alley, the crash of pins, smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke.

  2. Interesting story, nice images. How visceral a feedback would you like–teacher style? FB Msg me, if you want… some of my observations a bit more detailed grammar vs style (line lead/tail habits) choices you might like to consider…

  3. Makes me think of the birthday my daughter and granddaughter gave me a book of writing prompts. It was a basic book and I considered myself already a writer. I thanked them and didn’t put it on display, but hey, what were they thinking? Same question for you grand uncle.

    1. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I get the writing book aspect, but in my grandfathers case…his cousin was going for the laugh. But its the thought that counts, right?

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