I saw you last year on the news; you were the one clothed in blue and gray, you were the one who’s smile seemed faked, you were the one who had a sad eye on a happy face, you were the one who shed unseen tears, you were the one who wanted to be free, you were the one who lied and said you’re fine.
I saw you last year on the news.
I saw you last month at the show; you were the one with the aching heart no one could tell, when I approached you my name didn’t ring a bell, you were the one inwardly dying and outwardly laughing, you were the one saying hopeful thing to others — things that you really wanted someone to tell you.
I saw you last month at the show.
I saw you last week at the mall; you were the one with sunken eyes but glaring makeup on, you were the one carrying too many bags they became burdens, you were the one looking at the distorted mirror, you were the one moving with a crowd of fake friends.
I saw you last week at the mall.
I saw you yesterday night; you were the one crying at 3am, you were the one that screamed aloud from a nightmare, you were the one walking down the street in the dead of night… feeling no cold as your heart was all frozen up, you were the one wishing it was all over, you were the one going through your masks — trying to decide which to put on the next morning.
I saw you yesterday night.
I saw you at the bar six hours ago; you were the one holding a glass of champagne, you were the one with bloodshot eyes and a miserable smile, you were surrounded by cameras, you were the one not living life but existing.
I saw you at the bar six hours ago.
I walked by your house just now; you had a glass cup in your hand and an open wine bottle nearby, you rocked your head to an R&M beat, your eyes were shut but you could see things through your mind’s eye — things were falling apart around you but you didn’t care, you just shut your eyes and drowned beneath the waves of the song.
Then you opened your eyes and saw me.
This is haunting for me.
I read this earlier today and then needed to step away before returning to write a response. Simply, your phrases took me to many “eye connections” from these past two+ years.
Foremost, I am struck by your many references to eyes: a sad eye, sunken eyes, “shut your eyes and drowned,” eyes that did not cry, and then eyes that cried at 3 a.m. Whether this was one person or many people for you, I personally flashed to numerous times when eyes bound me closer to people than any formalities. Through all the strain of these months and the additional pressure to return to “normal” many still need more time, or at least they need a place and the space to heal during this new time we all have. Reading your poem different times, some times I see the eyes of many in a montage of sorts; at other times, I think of one sole (and lonely) person who died. Again, this is haunting.
I’m grateful that my poem had such a deep impression on you. I read somewhere that this generation we are in is a generation with sad eyes and fake smiles and I find that true so it served as a source of inspiration for my poem.
Once again thanks for your comment, it really made my day.
Lines that stuck out for me:
You were the one going through your masks; trying to decide which to wear the next morning,
This poem captures the reality of a great many people who want to be okay and happy but instead get drowned in societal expectations based on some either created or imagined perceptions of them.
You capture this truth effortlessly.
The last line leaves a beat in one’s chest at the realization that this person or persons seeing someone for real temporarily exculpates them from their pretense because all of a sudden, they know someone has seen right through them.
A fresh piece. Captivating. ✨️
I really get excited reading such wonderful feedbacks on my poem. I’m glad you understood and pondered upon the message behind this poem.
Thank you once again for your kind words of encouragement.