• This is really gorgeous. I think it works as-is, but I understand the desire to get things exact.

  • I really like this. Dorothy gets the starting role, but she has as much to learn as anyone.

    Will comment in more detail later – brain’s too wired right now.

  • First things first: I completed the poetry marathon for the first time! Woot!

    If I want to do this again, I need to look at how I managed it – and I think a big part of it was because I gave myself an added […]

  • Kwills wrote a new post, Zoom 7 months, 1 week ago

    Hours have flown by, minutes have crawled
    There’s only one thing to do:
    Take up the pen, get writing again
    The warm-up’s done, so now follow through

    Somehow, between four, and six-thirty,
    I blinked, and the […]

  • I.
    “Remember when…?” Can’t say I do
    I remember instead the stories you tell.
    And I’m sure your stories are quite true
    “Remember when…?” Can’t say I do.
    I’m full of holes, events slip through
    But stories […]

    • This is really interesting work. I love the use of sheep, sleep, and weep. And The mystery of one person holding another’s memories.

  • Green
    Grey, brown
    Colours of life
    Sprawl across the map in patchwork patterns.
    Blocks of brick flats stand almost back-to-back
    But still a patch
    Of wild ground
    Is found
    In […]

    • The visual aspect of this is totally awesome! I think that the composition of the words themselves however make it a little too choppy to read in my mind. Maybe don’t change any of the words, but kind of mess around with the grammar of the text itself? Maybe taking out the capital letters of each line might help too!

  • In the twilight, yellow eyes catch the light
    Spilling from the kitchen window into the garden.

    Half in shadow, white-tipped brush stands alert
    Watching for a hostile human leaving the house.

    Through the […]

  • Since we arrived, we rightly rule
    As Avlem are best placed to do
    The Empire’s soldiers serve our side
    We rightly rule, since we arrived.

    The natives are a sorry lot
    Who can’t make use of what they’ve […]

  • When sickness strikes, it dominates
    And all involved it subjugates
    To worries, sleepless nights, and pain
    And “When will they get well again?”
    The only topic this refrain, ’til it abates.

    When sickness will […]

  • I lived near a railway once, and I know exactly the sound you mean. Everything else is quiet that early in the morning, and it’s awesome.

    Thank you for letting me enjoy this memory.

  • Anger spikes for a moment, then fades.
    Yes, it’s awful – so what?
    Joy floods in like sunshine, then cools.
    Yes, it’s lovely – so what?
    Fear’s icy grip is powerless, too.
    Yes, it’s deadly – so what? […]

  • Reclaiming the land, stone by stone
    Raising a path into the waves
    Where travellers may walk to shore
    And bring their wares from far away

    A weary process, to the sure
    Reclaiming the land, stone by stone
    Yet […]

    • Burying the repeating line throughout each stanza works much better than leaving it hanging at the end of each verse. For that reason I like this poem more than the Kyrielle. But that says less about your writing skills, and more about the form

  • Kwills wrote a new post, Quest 7 months, 1 week ago

    Mine is a noble quest
    I go withour fear
    I know that every test
    Just means that I’m near

    I go withour fear
    Through the treasures and traps
    I shan’t turn off here
    My way’s marked on my maps

    I know that […]

  • In the beginning, was nothing,
    No mass, only pure energy.
    The nothing that became something
    In defiance of entropy
    Defiance, though, implies something –
    Someone did this deliberately
    The energy, and […]

  • When I am lost, and far from all
    The home I call my home will call
    I remember my first view
    Of the home I always knew
    Walls and maps don’t mark this space
    It’s the people, not the place
    When I am lost, and […]

  • Kwills wrote a new post, Next! 7 months, 1 week ago

    A slip
    Quickly, adjust
    New grip

    Water and food

    Too slow?
    Check the new rules:
    Not so!

    Form: Musette

    It’s very tempting to throw in the towel since my last poem was […]

  • The lure of disappointment’s strong,
    To get it wrong
    And let it go
    “I told you so”.

    It’s hard to keep on fighting when
    I could give in
    Twelve minutes late,
    And such a state…

    But I won’t take the e […]

  • Kwills commented on the post, Discomfort 7 months, 1 week ago

    I really like this image. And, like a stone in a shoe, very difficult to dislodge.

  • My dear younger self,
    This is your future – no,
    Don’t walk off, there’s things
    I want you to know.

    I remember you well,
    So new to the abyss
    We’ll return there, but
    You can get through this

    Happiness is […]

    • This is a great line! Really captures the angst of youth and says … well all there is to say:
      “So new to the abyss”

    • Haha very nice — No / Don’t walk away. Love the idea of your younger self sodding off rather than listening to you. Very clever.

  • Smell the fog rise from the coffee
    Swelling the rich, dockside air
    Tell of the kindness of moonbeams
    Spelling the dull concrete fair.

    Rush now, the canteen is closing
    Push to fit mugs on the shelf
    Hush, […]

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