Wear wedding dress to launderette, strip off to petticoat, ask to wash wedding dress in machines of heart broken customers, but offer to buy washing powder to be polite, wash til white dress is dirty grey. Take divorce photo with anyone who happens to be there. Keep shoes.
Short and bitter. Sweet and clear!
Fun! Declarative! Are you worried about copycats? It could become a routine launderette experience, trendy before too long. You could end up being sued if it leads to trouble.