Dear 19-year old nutjob,

As per our previous discussion that one time when you were candyflipping at a rave and mistakenly identified your future self as god…

It’s important to remember that while these weekends of hedonism and debautchery may seem trivial, they do have an impact on me. Well, on you, but later.

My liver hurts dude, and that time you got wasted and decided it would be a good idea to jump out of a moving car and broke your collarbone?

Well, it never healed right, and now it aches when it rains. Asshole, what were you thinking?

Anyway, good news is, you survived

Barely

I mean, you escaped with your sanity,or so the little aliens living underneath your doormat want you to believe

Point is, go easy

There’s a long time to go, and the physical form is finite

Pace yourself

-Your Future Self

P.S. Brush your teeth, dental work is expensive