the end of my twenties looms ahead like a finely carved clock
another upright tower chiming with certain destruction and liberation
I blink twice and suddenly I am running late
my relationship with time remains complicated
despite my efforts to change

I still bite off more than I can chew so that I’m seen as agreeable
self worth deeply rooted in how much I can give
I’ve gift wrapped years of my life
believing sacrifice would become painless
if adorned with the right bow

growth only comes in sets of two
I know that I can’t find it separate from discomfort
lightning crashes and clears the rot so that another tree may live
I’m learning to forgive the storms
and welcome what comes after

my hours vanish into the burnout dimension
I will never be this young again even now I am older
there is an imagined squandering of potential
that suggests every wasted second leads me to depletion
every season leads to a decrease in value or novelty

I remember the letter you wrote when you said to “keep on living – live for me”
resilience hasn’t been easy to achieve and frequently
I can’t bring myself to see the hands moving
the pendulum swinging
the dispassionate face

but I have promises to keep
and I am better with promises than time