I think we start off unafraid in life and proceed to learn through pain
the deeper the wound
the stronger the lesson

the scent of autumn still reminds me of an allergy to cinnamon
that hasn’t caused a problem since I was a child

my night terrors and fidgeting, my tremors and restless limbs
the colder months stretching on with long nights that brim
with more to be scared of

I keep a pack of back up lightbulbs to ensure my nightlight never dies
unsure of what imagined threats are hiding in the dark

how am I supposed to trust myself or anyone else to protect me
I still wear my fathers jacket like a weighted blanket
or second skin

I feel mildly guilty killing spiders because you taught me that they weren’t inherently bad
not the way I always believed myself to be

a cratered scar caused by a nasty bite now lives on my right elbow
who knew that something so small
could carry such poison