it seems fitting that the internet would go down
right as I begin to write about how silence
is an experience I tend to avoid at all costs

silence used to scare me more
than a raised voice
or a slammed door
because it often precedes devastation
a calm before the storm

worse, when used as a command
hand in hand with shaming
for being too loud or passionate
rips the voice from my throat
just like a Disney movie

silence makes the noise in my head deafening
a tornado of thought an earthquake shifting
the tectonic plates of composure
that is why the tv is always on
even when my attention lives elsewhere