Hour Five: Manhearted

No nonsense, no bitter and tease, no games for he

who knows how to sit in ease, soaking his bones in a tub full of tunes,

eager to please the senses, not hers but his, alone in his cocoon,

his lair of potions and scents, smiling to his core, through a heart’s lens.

Manhearted he is, easy to see, plain sight, no need to believe

an explanation for every cause, an analysis for every disease.

He’s hard around the edges, tender to the bone, and mean

when it matters, telling it like it is or should be, without making a scene.

No drama, dilemma, duress, or domineering desires to be yours,

he’s content where is, what he knows, and how he keeps score, for

what is a man but his mood, manner, and masculine mimicry, one

more father, son, uncle, brother, nephew, pal and bearded chum.

Blissful fullness, he steams in his own juices, a masterpiece in tile,

mosaic of a man, centuries stained in porcelain, skin of his brethren

swirling about him like bath salt silk and scum, floating atop the womb.

He’s a man from his wrinkled toes to his shit-eating grin, a y to her x,

not a performance, like the band playing in his head, but still play, effects

drilled into the cerebral cortex, the veins of desire, a man-hearted display.

 

 

Hour Five – Thoughts on Condos Collapsing Out of Nowhere

Death is real,

Though I’ve never known it be.

Rather, I’ve never been able to make it real.

 

To say I yearn for death wouldn’t be quite right.

My frontal lobe is buried under debris,

But the rest of my brain cannot find it in the pancake layers.

My frontal lobe is screaming,

Wiggling its fingers in the cracks,

But nobody is around to see it,

Which means it must make no sound.

 

Have you ever had that dream

Where you’re screaming,

But nothing comes out?

Remember how hollow your throat feels?

 

I want to get better, I do.

I want to be rescued from this collapse,

But I am running out of oxygen.

 

I cannot keep asking for help if nobody hears me.

I beg,

But the doctors do not believe I am sick enough.

I beg,

But my therapist is on maternity leave.

I beg,

But my friends do not have the tools to heal me.

untitled

Just imagine reacting, almost daily, to…

A few steps out of the door
and twilight
You run into a wall but turn… left and stumble forward
Into dim light. Because it’s light.
Kind of
And it gets comfortable for…
A block or a mile or a week
And you have a smile and water
When the goddamned ground stars buckling
And it’s pouring
with vultures circling
And a childhood bully robs your house and
Sells all of your shit for drugs
But you keep walking as if you
will get all of your shit back
(You will NEVER get any of your shit back)
And there is a corner and another dim mile
And a hole in your shoe
And you are late for…what the fuck ever

This is the emotional absurdity
Of living with racism

The Purge

Exhume the clutter of your past
Discard the dust of yesterday

Create space for new manifestations
Embrace unfamiliar circumstances

Interrogate the value of everything
Consider usefulness across time and space

Today’s shimmering revelations become
Tomorrow’s rusty remembrances

5. Time Capsule

Crack. Twist. Hard pull.

To whomever finds this, Mom made us use the word whomever. It’s January 1, 1962. John F. Kennedy is president. Mom made us put that part in, too. We are Sam and Erin Jakes. This is our time capsule. We hope you find it 100 years from now. We aren’t famous or anything. So here’s just some stuff in our life right now…

Today’s newspaper. Sorry it’s kind of wrinkled. Dad wouldn’t let it go until he read the whole thing.

Erin’s Barbie, the one that’s missing some hair and a leg.

Erin’s other Barbie, the one with both legs so the other one won’t be alone.

Brownie’s old collar cause she just got a new one.

A couple leaves from the climbing tree in the backyard so if it’s gone maybe you can plant a new one.

My old shoelaces… still pretty good.

A little gutter water from in front of our house. It has a lot of weird stuff in it you can see in a microscope.

A cigarette I snuck from Dad’s pack

Some matches in case you wanna try a cigarette from 1962.

A dried out squashed frog I found in the street the other day.

A picture of me and Erin at the beach last year.

I don’t know where I will be in 100 years, but you can visit Erin at Foreat Lawn in the garden area. She’ll be there. There’s a pond and lots of ducks. Maybe they will still be there in 100 years. If you go, take some old bread for them, and flowers for Erin. That’s what we do.

Revenge poem. Dont take this seriously


There once was a boy who lived in a small town

Everyone thought he was a clown

He wore glasses and had curly hair

Gosh he was insufferable, no one could compare

 

He also had an obnoxious obsession with birds

Honestly, I think he was deeply disturbed

 

He liked to trouble the citizens as he roamed about

He was an irritating guy, there was no doubt

He infuriated all the kids at school

And thought the world he could rule

 

But one-day he picked a fight

That he couldn’t win even though he won in height

She was a little bit younger

But soooooooo much stronger

 

She punched him in his face

And put him in his place

The boy ran away crying

He sounded like a furry, grey cat dying

 

The girl saved the town from the boy

And now there was no one he could annoy

Time Capsule

 

Time Capsule

 

My shovel struck a rock

which was the obvious thought

until I dug it out to see that it was not.

 

Much too deliberate a shape

quite wide and so oblong.

I had to start to scrape.

 

Clanged with a trowel

washed with a hose

cleaned with a towel.

 

It glimmered at me

shined bright as carefree.

 

I noticed a hatch

with a spring and a catch.

 

I opened it up

not believing my luck.

 

Our popped a note

I can’t believe who had wrote.

 

It’s words were from me

I was overwhelmed with glee.

 

I suddenly remembered

many lifetimes ago

I wrote it so slow.

 

Wondered who would find it,

wise words tried to transmit.

 

I couldn’t wait to find my

directive for futurekind.

 

But was quite disappointed

at words so disjointed.

 

It said don’t rock the boat

keep your dreams afloat

but wear a red raincoat.

A Poet’s Plea

A poet strives to be understood; To say something that touches the mind and heart as only a poet can.
A poet always has something they want to say; good or bad only time can make the distinction.
The meaning of what is being said might be as plain as the nose on your face, but it could also be shrouded in imagery and complicated meaning that always speaks when the time is right.

Sometimes a poet may have a lot to say; it need not be important or profound to paint a picture with words that can tell a story untold. What you may write could rhyme from end to end, but don’t worry if it doesn’t because it was meant to be that way.

Time Capsule – hour 5

Inside a dank can

I found in the ground

just digging a garden, you see.

 

I spied with delight

the shimmery white

a mother of pearl set

there were three!

 

Inside the first thing

a dainty Irish ring

inside, it read

my love, let us wed

and let our hearts sing!

 

Number two, it was blue

an old hiking shoe

inside it, a note

and I read what she wrote

“it’s time to be through, my shrew.”

 

The last one, I cried

it left nothing to hide

a rose, all gilded with pewter

alongside was a note

and on it, by rote

Alas, I was too late to win her.

 

– Sandra Johnson, 6/26/21

 

 

 

 

It used to be a thing

My arms curl round his neck.
It used to be a thing.

The kisses on the cheek.
The side glances with little buds of a smile.

That was a wedding day.
Wedding day things never last.
I suppose.

One day I was laying on the couch sobbing.
No clue why.
His fist actually hit my face.
No clue why.
That also used to be a thing.

That didn’t make it into the capsule
A photo album of memories
Of an ex husband and a father
My twins never met.

Because I wanted us to live.

But there are photos of mom and dad
Hugging
Outside the Mormon temple in Salt Lake City.

Pictures having casual dinners
With Russian friends
And my cat Lucy
Who he left to die but my beat friend saved

All when I ran away.

Who wants to see that?
Who wants to know that?

Better to see a smiling couple outside a Harlem church. Christmas day no less.

Photo albums are time capsules.
Time capsules are fairy tales.
We curate them.

Why not make them happy?

This one sits buried in a plastic tub
Under my old psychology textbooks
Waiting for my twins to say,
“Tell us about our dad.”