24 Poems ~ 24 Hours
A bad actor
always
looks down
then bluffs the idea
of what he’s supposed to say
while
everyone
scrambles
to catch up to something
they never
rehearsed
Like a student
who has written
the wrong answers
in the palm
of his hand,
the actor
smiles wide
behind his desk,
thinking himself
the victor
where
none
are
to
be
found.
While others are
gathering their snacks –
dark strong chocolate,
pots of coffee,
piles of prompts
books, pictures, memories
I am gathering
memories just lost
seeking my center
trying to look
out, up, ahead.
While others are
organizing their space,
choosing their view,
piling up references,
contemplating the virtues –
chips vs candy? –
I am clearing
my space, tossing
everything I can
in order to
move small, light.
While others are
juggling joy, nerves
and anticipation, I
am juggling agents
lawyers, buyers, tradesmen,
plans, timelines, loss.
While others are
imagining poems, I
am recalling them.
While others are
filled with energy,
I am struggling
to regain mine.
While others are
reaching out, eager
to share, excited,
I am pulled
into my shell
to nurture, conserve
what little reserve
I have rebuilt.
While others are
writing with me
and yet apart
I am grateful
to be part
of something beyond
the four walls
of my pain,
grateful for openings
to explore yet
another adventure ahead.
sarahw
A sky of stars
Shining bright
I dont know what I am
A lot of secrets
Buried inside
I dont know what I am
At times i fill with joy
At times I dont even cry
I dont know what I am
Sometimes I wish I could fly
Far from the worries this life imbibes
Then I stop my thoughts and think
Is this the only option left
Many times I follow my heart
I let life decide a few
I dont know what I am
Am I he mountain standing high
Or the ocean building its tide
I dont know what I am
Maybe the cloud that flew away
Maybe the sun that shines all day
Maybe the sand softly touching the skin
Maybe the air deep within
I dont know what I am
I am sweating, clammy, nervous. My heart beats quickly, loudly. I’m sure they can hear it.
“They are just teenagers.”
I am going to throw up. My stomach churns, roils.
“Remain calm.”
I am getting light headed. Breath in, out, in, out. Quick snatches through my nose.
“You are in control.”
I am standing in front of 36 judging eyes, assessing my trustworthiness.
“Show no fear.”
I am smiling. Teeth bared, lips spread, eyes sparkling, smiling.
I laugh.
They smile back.
“I am ok.”
in the distance
clusters of grey clouds
a line of laundry
waiting for the shrapnel
of piercing rain
what makes me think
a cup of chamomile tea
will set things right
the saucers are chipped
with arguments
I’d like a bee
to fly the gauntlet
of my garden chimes
the sound coated
with lavender
some news today
about the wars in the world
while we tend
our garden of strawberries,
peaches, and lime
summer solstice …
I paid all our debts
last week
that nothing should disturb
this long afternoon
An early morning
There so many kinds of
Sleep as the rain falls
I am
Such a strange phrase—
two words, three letters
They do not look like much
but have much to say
I am
A declaration of existence
often modified to suit
I am
An affirmative reply
to questions of behaviour
I am
An admission of responsibility
I am
Defiance in the name of what is right
I am
A personal manifesto
no elaboration required
I am
(22 June 2019, Hour 1)
i am girl turned woman
i am truth yet stolen
i am the backwards glance and the last dance
for all that i am
and all that you see
I am forever learning
that I am unapologetically
me.
C. Churchill
Poem 1
Silently Sad
By: Ashley L Powers
I sit here with frustrated thoughts
My inner fists beating against these walls I’ve built
This is what it must feel like to be in prison
Trapped within the bars of my mind’s cell
I feel like I’m choking, it’s really getting hard to breathe
I truly feel suffocated by the pain
The thoughts, the hurt, flows through me like a ocean
But I can’t swim so I’m drowning
My insides are crumbling
Yet my outside shows no sign of trauma
I let the smile on my face fool everyone
People ask me if I’m okay…
And YES flows from my mouth with ease
But it’s truly taking everything in me not to break down and scream
I want to yell at the top of my lungs…
…HELL NO I’M NOT FINE, HELP ME PLEASE
Why can’t you see that I’m hurting?
I tell myself that no one cares
So I keep everything bottled up
But inside I’m slowly dying
Behind closed doors I’m crying
Waves of emotions that keep pulling me under
Every night that I rest my head
I lay in my own tear filled puddle
But I’m a Pisces so I should be used to it
I just want to be rescued
But there’s no one to save me
I’m fighting myself, trying to stop the tears from falling
My internal dam can’t take all the weight
So it folds under pressure
The cracks I tried to seal are beginning to break
Tears so heavy I can’t focus
But I make sure to wipe them away before you notice
I have to pretend to be perfect
Y’all look at me and see Ashley
I look at me and see half broken…
…heartbroken
I see a woman who’s torn apart from her own confusion
How do I tell the world I’m shattered?
How do I tell the world I feel like I’ve lost everything that mattered?
Until I figure it out
I’ll just keep it to myself
I’ll just keep sitting here staring at these four walls
Suffering….
….dying
Slowing going mad….
….silently sad
The one who tries to be perfect…
I am.
The one who sings off key…
I am.
The one who laughs too loud…
I am.
The one who feels too much…
I am.
The one who loves too hard…
I am.
The one who is never seen…
I am.
gj