1. the announcement

I broadcasted the departure – as you
and you on boats,
ferried away from
our resting place,
your funeral
our bed.

2. the revokation

I limited the exposure I had to the sun – as you,
and you on beaches,
scurried away from
the glances,
my funeral,
your hands.

3. the eviction

Simple. One day.
A remedy, a removal.
Clothes and cleavers stacked into
the back of an unforgettable buggy,
skunked up
in my absence.

4. the rekindle

All stubborn flames try to re-light
in the wrong exposure,
but I smelled another smoke on your breath,
and I choked us out

5. the sizing

I will never fit into a wedding dress – as you,
and you at weddings
danced away
from my eight attempts at an August proposal.

 

6. the engagement

Now void.

7. both parts of a narcissist

there is the cause and the effect
for every violent word –
my screaming pinned you to the ground,
your ignorance kept me puking.
you were the c a u s e
and I was the abuse.

8. richocet

I got back
every pin head I put under your foot.
coated them with chocolate
and swallowed them for dessert.
I kept you kept;
you hated your keeper,
not every caged animal
bites the feeder.

9. record

screenshots.
poems.

10. you said…

“don’t write me as a monster in every poem, I really do love you.”

“You think terrible things about me, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”

“I don’t have to listen to you. You aren’t my mother.”

11. i said…

“I won’t. You aren’t a monster, I love you too much.”

“I don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

12. i thought…

“Stop haunting me. I am living in fear.”

“You did terrible things to me, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”

“I wanted to be heard, but who could talk over your anger? I only screamed because your hate was too loud.”

 

13. the survival

I’ll only say I did.