Two days before 14 years

 

I run through our weeks

and

remember your face,

your lips,

your hands,

but

I still hide when you get too close.

 

I try to stay still,

and

plant my feet,

my heart,

my will,

but

I still seem to leave

rather than stay present.

 

Why

do I

need to go away

to find you?

Those jaunts to

places you

wanted to go –

and I go alone?

 

I have spent so much time there

and I

now understand that

I hate loneliness more than

I fear letting you in.

 

So know that,

when I push you –

it’s me I’m trying

to get to

and

all I’ve ever wanted

was

you.

(c) R. L. Elke 2016