I had the experience once…

more than once-

of having someone in my life – a man to love me.

someone in the tub,

someone in the hallway waiting for me to come home.

not now…now the house is empty. No lingering man scent in the shower, no scattered tools in the garage.

what is this thing- being alone?

how does it come about?

was it written this way – that I be alone in my twilight years? I’m angry about it sometimes.

and then I realize- no one is asking you to account for your time –

telling you how to live, how to vote, how to dress, when to be home, what to believe…

and then I think…maybe it was written this way.