CW: pregnancy, miscarriage

Me Without You

 

Nine years later

we joke about how hard it was to pee on that stick.

How nervous it all made me

as 60 seconds turned into an eternity.

A popsicle sized piece of plastic told me our lives were changing.

 

We were 20 and not even close to thinking we were ready for this

yet we decided to take that chance.

Bet on ourselves, our love.

 

That decade I spent growing with you

made me a different person than I ever thought possible.

Watching something that is part of us
talk, grow, learn, take on some of your mannerisms,

was beyond my wildest dreams with you.

 

Except, that was all a dream.

 

My body rejected that dream.

Pain rippled through my body as our dream was ripped away.

My body screamed at us that we were not ready.

A decade out and I still miss you.

Mostly, I miss what we could have been.