I think about it
while I’m at work
about slowly dipping myself
into the hot steamy basin
feeling my body submerged
releasing the tension
from the day
from my aching throbbing self
but I don’t.

I tell patients all day long
at the chronic pain clinic
to relax those muscles
to free the spasms that envelope them
to take a break from the pain
find some respite
for just a little while
but I don’t.

Release your mind, I say
soothe the body
free the spirit.
I tell them the prolonged
pain response
is like pouring gasoline
on a fire
to care for themselves
find the energy to
change their routines
but I don’t.