“For years the idea haunted me, and that night it returned more insistently than ever”
I wish I was an equalizer
one that changes dialogue
not one who has to walk on unfinished floors
answering where did you come from questions
One that doesn’t have to speak on behalf of someone else
before speaking about self
I wish I lived in a place
where every encounter was safe
where my son could walk home in the dark
where the ideas of someone haring him wouldn’t haunt me
Someone did
he called me 25 times
I missed the calls
all of them
he said you never pick up for me
he didn’t mean it
I just didn’t that day
too busy not paying attention
too bust muting myself at work
too busy muting my phone
Our lives changed after that
It’s not about St. Louis

Its not here
Safety
its all an idea
It feels now, like there is a kiln outside
and its monsoon season
where one wrong move
will send you cascading down a hilly footpaths

I wish I knew a safe place
but the world is beginning to feel too small for me
too small for us
too small for truth