prompt #11: use specific words

At the storefront

The old man sat with feet propped up
gumboots scuffed through the black rubber
In his twisted fingers he held a needle
plying it through a patch spread over a torn net.
Overhead, a cloud pregnant with rain thickened
against the backdrop of a periwinkle sky.
This, he told me, is how we always done it.
The way my daddy done it. My mama
she brought him sourdough bread n butter
bread she made from her own starter
butter she beat from our own milk.
I miss them days. Nothing like ‘em.

6 thoughts on “prompt #11: use specific words

  1. I tried so hard to get “periwinkle” in my poem and I played around with making it about the sky but couldn’t get the words to flow. It thrilled me to see how you did it.

    I’m always impressed by poetry elements. They signal writing skill to me whether intentional or not, true poets always include poetry elements. Especially love the imagery of the pregnant and rain thickened clouds as well as the scuffed gumboots. Great “slices of life” to overuse a cliche.

    Equally fond of the alliteration
    • “plying it through a patch”
    • “how we always done it. /The way my daddy done it.”
    • “butter she beat from our own milk. / I miss them days.”

  2. A two part poem in one piece! Sewed together perfectly. You would never know! Britton such a chewy poem because of its two parts. the description and then the speaking. I read the description as if its own poem for fun to see what it would sound like. Sounds great. Mysterious. The isness of a fisherman. The poem turns right in the middle. Splits into two six line pieces. They could stand on their own. Bravo. A wonderfully constructed and evocative piece. Thank you Britton. Britton is a well used first name in my family. We have lots of them going back into the 1800’s!

  3. Thank you, Richard ~ I confess to a minor obsession with Japanese forms, and this was a kind of riff on a haibun. Glad you enjoyed it. Britton is a well-loved name in my family as well ~ for both genders. A last name that ‘daughtered out,’ as Southerners will tell you ~

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.