Silly summer sweaty season

Jamming full the plane

Somewhere hot, don’t care a jot

That each year is just the same

Swarming off the aircraft

Sweating something chronic

Tattoo Tank-top up the front

Screaming “Where’s Mummies Vodka Tonic”

A promising start you will agree

A chance for British Envoys

To Explore the world Cos back home its cold

So we’re fleeing it in convoys

Found the bags but bloody hell

The Booking infos vanished

Could ask for help, but probably not

We’re British, Don’t speak Spanish

A bulging, burping peeling horde

Of lads bags tramps and louts

With fags in hand, ill fitting tops

With tits that’ve fallen out

A whole new world we could explore

But the food is weird and smelly

SO what did you do in Lanzerote

I fucking watched the telly

Football, Tennis, even golf

In the bars its always on

It may have escaped your notice

Back home is also shown

Why drag your ass from out your chair

And inflict yourself on Spain

If you only sit in bars, swear at football stars

Then Fuck off home again

But when the sun goes down

Screaming kids gone off to sleep

You get your party outfit on

It’s enough to make you weep

But I hate to burst your bubble

I’d hate to think this wrecks it

But you can’t afford the drink here now

Cos you voted bloody Brexit

So climb back on the aeroplane

Your skin red, charred to death

Next year, I think we’ll stay at home

And ruin Blackpools week instead