Running on Fumes

I’m running on the last bits

Of what I have left

I came here with all the energy I had

And most of it is already gone

I’m only running on what the others are giving me

They hug me and smile

They ask where I am now and what I’m doing

We talk for hours because we haven’t talked in years

Around these boys I am not shy

I am not ashamed of what I am or who I am right now

They don’t care, they’be never cared

They love me for who I am right now

And I love them for who they are right now

This is all that I’m running on right now

What’s left of the energy I came with

And the love of these around me

3 thoughts on “Running on Fumes

  1. “They don’t care, they’be never cared”

    I assume there’s a typo but beyond that, I find this line disturbing. If they don’t care and never cared, where’s the love? Definitely a dichotomy that is not resolved. This line jarred me and makes me look at the other lines again. What is the poet saying? What is the speaker not saying or not understanding about the “love of these around me?”

    1. That was a typo that I only noticed later.

      The lines before are important: “Around these boys I am not shy/I am not ashamed of what I am or who I am right now”. I was specifically talking about friends who were sitting near me at that moment. And in my comment of “They don’t care, they’ve never cared,” I was speaking of how they have never tried to change who I am. They don’t care about who and what I am now, they allow me to be who and what I am now. Thus the following line, “They love me for who I am right now.” They don’t care about societal norms or stereotypes or what a girl “should” be.

      I’ve had bad luck at times with circles of friends who are constantly trying to change who I am. This group of friends never has. It was more about being thankful for the fact that they let me be me.

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