Poem #18 (Cloud Mountain j.r.m©)

Heaven descends onto earth
what a view to behold,
marvelous are the ways of mother nature.
So isolated from up above
a taste of heaven and
earth in the same bite
take a big bite,
savor the view 
Standing atop
breathe in the air
let it fill your lungs
with the essence
of where you are standing,
Open your arms wide enough
to embrace the view
to give thanks.
Revere the dancing clouds
surrounding you
floating weightlessly.
As dark clouds loom over 
your dreams suspended
in mid air and gravity can’t
do shit ’bout it…


One thought on “Poem #18 (Cloud Mountain j.r.m©)

  1. Lovely poem. I have only two comments. First, I think you rely too heavily on having a picture carry your poem. This poem tells about a cloud mountain, but you don’t actually feel anything or see any images of a cloud mountain unless you look at the picture. That isn’t poetry. The poem should stand alone and convey the visuals. The image (if you use one) should emphasize the poem, not the other way around.

    Secondly, and I would say this to every modern poet or lyricist, not just you. Any time you have to resort to slurs, foul language or swearing, your vocabulary is too small. Find another way to express the feeling in descriptive words, without the coarse language. You can do it! 🙂 “In mid air and gravity can’t wrap it’s head around it” or “In mid air and gravity can’t bring you down.” Something like that.

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