Excuse Me

‘Excuse me’ a tiny voice she heard

‘You’re sitting on my beard.’

A  large butt cheek she heaved

And the bearded lady was relieved.


‘Excuse me’ a hand tugged on her skirt

‘I’ve fallen and I am hurt’

Blood pooled stickily on the ground

She screamed ‘Is there a Doctor around!’


‘Excuse me’ a frail lady did quiver

‘There’s a dead body in the river’

‘Call an ambulance and the police!’

‘Don’t worry it’s only an old fleece.’


‘Excuse me, not ‘Oy you’ the lady demanded

‘I ain’t gonna tell you now Mrs’ he rounded

‘Manners maketh man’ she scowled at their faces

She turned promptly and tripped over her laces.



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