DogSpeak #24 Serious Speak

DogSpeak #24 Serious Speak

I know you don’t like
serious conversations but
we need to discuss something.
It’s important.

I need to know that you will be ok
when I have to leave. No, I don’t know
anything you don’t. I just have to be sure,
while I’m here that you will find a life
without me.

We’ve had fun together, laughed
cried, learned what we want and like,
what makes us who we are, what keeps us
together as a team, as family.

So, wait a little while and get another dog;
you’re not replacing me, you’re taking on
my spirit in a different breed and color
and temperament – don’t think I’ll make it
easy for you. Training is important.

Thanks. I’m glad we had this talk. Carry on.
Ok, let’s play!
Can I throw the ball this time?

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #23 Employment Application

DogSpeak #23 Employment Application

The Dog

fetch and fill with slobber,
shred into crosscut pieces

unearth anything that makes noise
or smells bad; digger, unplanter, uprooter

Demolition Expert
any material, no job too big or small;
no clean-up included

Bounty Hunter
animal, vegetable, mineral
anything, anywhere, delivered dead unless

Refrigerator Janitor
cleaned and cleaned out but no kale,
broccoli, spinach, nothing green

Available Shifts
between naps and meals

Salary Desired
bones, kibble, treats, toys
gas money for my humans

When Can You Start
after lunch but I have to be home for dinner
I can’t stay out after dark

Spot, Rover, Buster, Opie, Snickers,
Munchkin, Gumball, the man who runs
the dog park, my humans

Preferred Contact Method

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #22 Definition Dog

DogSpeak #22 Definition: Dog

we let ourselves out

we speak with our eyes

speak only words of wisdom

what we are made of

what we live to give is good

sharing of ourselves

we find you worthy of our love

we understand, we strive to relay

every home to have a dog

empty shelters, rescue every one of us

what we foster for you

we hear, we embrace, we accept

Animal Planet!

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #21 Dog Wisdom

DogSpeak # 21 Dog Wisdom

Stay pawsitive
the best is yet to come

Trust dogs with your deep secrets;
we know but never tell.

We fill an emptiness
you didn’t know you had.

Love and hugs
are four-legged words.

We are like potato chips;
you need more than one.

You think you need a hand
but what you need is a paw.

A great day starts with a wet nose
and ends with a wagging tail.

We speak but only to those
who know how to listen.

A house without a dog
must be like a garden with no flowers.

The best thing to come home to
is a wiggle butt waiting at the door.

Dog hair everywhere,
we don’t care.

Live. Laugh. Bark.
Repeat often.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak#20 In Dog Years

DogSpeak #20 In Dog Years

Humans like to calculate
our ages in dog years,
seven of ours to one of theirs.

We dogs like to think
our life span on earth is shorter
because we have less to learn.

These figures are guesstimates
averaged out for the life cycle
of dog and man.

A good life for a dog is 12 years,
which translates to 84
in human years, yes a good life.

Yet the average age of a human
is 80 and brings a sense of worry –
what if we outlive our human?

A better thought for a dog is
what if we outsmart our human?
Well that’s easy.

Bark at cars, bikes, kids, cats,
bunnies, errant leaves, and your human
will look and look and see nothing.

Scratch frantic at something under
the den chair, whine; your human will
leave his dinner unguarded. Too easy.

Give a human 7 years to figure out
how to make friends with everyone
he meets. He’ll need more time.

Tell him that he got it backwards,
that in dogs years, he’s actually
over 400.

Turn in circles 9 times when you go
to bed; when he asks why not 3 times,
tell him you’re an overachiever.

Kiss him, tell him dog saliva
has magical powers to mend
anything broken, like a heart.

He feeds you at 7:30 every night;
let him know how proud you are
of him; he’s finally trained.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #19 Mommy & Me

DogSpeak #19 Mommy & Me

I wink at Mommy
and she winks back.
She thinks there’s a code.

I tilt my head left, she tilts
hers left. I think she thinks
I see something she doesn’t.

I stare at the ceiling
without blinking. She stares
– haha, I made her look.

I give her a schedule every day.
Let me out, let me in, feed me,
let me eme in, repeat.

I slobber windows, doors
and mirrors all over the house;
she likes my snot art.

I give her security, friendship
and unconditional permission…
some days, she only talks to me.

I stare at her while she eats;
she feels guilty and gives me some,
even though I just ate.

Mommy & Me.
It was easy;
I had her at woof.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #18 Reasons You Need Dogs (at least 2)

DogSpeak #18 Reasons You Need Dogs (at least 2)

We replace vacuums
for food that falls to the floor.

We believe every word you say
and that is saying volumes.

We love you even if you skip
the hairdresser all year.

We laugh at all your jokes
even the dumb ones.

We make you laugh at our antics
even the dumb ones.

We wake you before the alarm
so you never oversleep.

We give you a reason to exercise
even if you don’t want to.

We are the best cuddlers
and snugglers ever.

We make you smile
and that helps you live longer.

We knew you needed
to be rescued; that’s what we do.

We’ll help you be goofy, silly,
and giggle as much as you can.

We are a factory for kisses
24/7 production; we never run out.

We have magic compartments
in our hearts to hold all your secrets.

We’ll protect you from danger and stress,
but maybe not the bunnies in the yard.

We let you be you. Who else
does that for you?

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #17 Picking Up Poop

DogSpeak #17 Picking Up Poop

You say you spend
half you life
picking up poop
and I ask why
you want it.

You sing
Picking up poop
bag on hand
back cracks
when I stoop
picking up poop
scoot while
I collect your poo.

I ask again
why you want it,
I didn’t want it
so why do you?

You sing
Picking up poops
following behind
my pooch poops
doesn’t even say oops
here I am
spending my life
picking up poops
but I love you
so I collect your poo.

Ok, so you like to sing
so I give you something
to sing about.

Picking up poopers
scooping bloopers
left on the sidewalk
where we all walk
I need a bag of bags
but I love you, Trooper
so I spend my time
filling a trash pail
picking up your poo.

It’s not like it’s worth
anything, right?
I left it behind
so you’d have
something to do,
picking up my poo.

No pooper scooper
big enough to say
how much I love you
but believe me
when I say I don’t love
picking up your poop.

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #16 Yawn

DogSpeak #16 Yawn

We’re watching tv
on the couch, a bad movie
but I’m not allowed to touch
the remote. You stick with it
but I’ve seen enough.

I look over at you to telegraph
the idea of changing channels.
You yawn, I yawn.

I know that dogs will yawn
if they see a human yawn
but I wonder if you’ll yawn
if I yawn and so I yawn.
You yawn.

You look surprised.
I wonder if you’re thinking
what I’m thinking
and you yawn.
I yawn.

You spin on the couch,
sit to face me and I sit up
facing you.
I yawn, you yawn.
You yawn, I yawn.
I fake a yawn,
you yawn.
You fake, I yawn.
TV and remote forgotten,
we both yawn.
Yes, this is much better
than that bad movie.
You and me, we fall asleep

~ J R Turek

DogSpeak #15 Why

DogSpeak #15 Why

Why can’t we leave
the fridge door open?
All the good stuff is
in there but we can’t get it,
for you of course,
with the door closed.

Why isn’t there a bed
bigger than king?
It’s too small for all of us
and you refuse to sleep
on the couch. We want you
to be comfortable.

Why can’t we eat
with you at the table?
We’re polite, won’t burp
or steal food off your plate
and there’ll be no leftovers.

Why can’t we have our own couch?
You could make the living room
bigger; after all, it’s where we live
so it should fit our fur-niture, too.

Why do we chase cars and bikes?
We can’t drive them so it seems
like a dumb idea. Oh yeah,
you did tell us not to.

Why don’t you like
answering our questions?
We’re inquisitive, curious,
our inquiring canine minds
want to know everything.

Why do squirrels
hate us? What did we do
to annoy them… other than chase
them up trees, across fences,
and watch as they skitter across
power lines. Zapp!
Never mind.

~ J R Turek

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