Barney

I love purple
everything about purple
all shades of purple but…

Barney the purple dinosaur
is an atrocity I do not appreciate.
Here are my top ten reasons why:

1) A-nnoying songs that play over and over
until you want to stuff your ears with wax.
Hot wax.

2) Barney was on for 18 years
and that is just wrong wrong wrong.

3) Too much sugar for kids in the 90s.
Someone finally woke up and pulled
the sugar plum plug on Barney.

4) A fat, purple, singing dinosaur, really?
Tell the truth… did you ever watch it?

5) I love you, I love you, I love you
so many times that I changed the words to
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Better but not by much.

6) It’s Barney, after all, not Sesame Street.
Now that’s a show with longevity.

7) A purple t-rex that’s an educational dancer –
that should be more than enough.

8) 150 Ways to Kill the Dinosaur…
nuff said.

9) Barney actor is a tantric sex specialist. Yikes!

10) Any other color dinosaur, I could care less
but he wrecked purple’s reputation. I take that
as a personal affront.

I refuse to listen to rumors
that they are resurrecting Barney.
Get the garlic and the silver bullets.
Or at least lots of orange target paint.

~ J R Turek Hour 16