Poem #3: My First Born

“Mom…are you okay?”
I hold my breath for a few second … I close my eyes and let out a silent sigh.
I cannot see his eyes but I can strongly hear his agitation.
A child in a body of teenager but trying hard to be a man.

“Yes I am fine … I’m okay … nothing to worry.”
My voice lighten up a little but it can’t be wrong, he fell it strong.

He knows .. yes ..  we know that deep in our hearts…We know!
We are moving mountains with our Faith and Love with each other.
We know that our problems are also mounting …
We know that in our silence … we cannot lie and we won’t lie;

Though we speak thousand words of assurance ..“.we are doing fine.”
But deep in our heart … its deepest silence lies ….
Fear … uncertainty … longing … false hope and life’s negative thoughts.
And … .doubts … lot of doubts.

He look into my eyes and smile …
No one will take this moment from me, not even distance.
The eyes that still holds hundreds of questions.
The shy boy become a child again though he tries hard to conceal.
The swag and confidence of being love … was and still is.

“Thank you and take care Mom.”
“I love you son.”

I can still hears his voice .. “Mom you go first.”
As I click to end our conversation … I whisper softly.
“Yes Mom is fine…I need to be fine.”
My first born .. my first pure love … and more first to come.
Is counting to his strong and loving mom.

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