Kismet/Still Can’t Find Her

8/5/17 9:23
Kismet/Still Can’t Find Her

I’ve been looking for God
In between cities and the webbed space connecting fingers.
I’ve been pacing the bare-bulbed blinding
Never finding faith or redemption,
So that I can drop down to my knees and
Give myself over to something other than my impulses.
Something other than you.

I’ve been looking for God
Behind the soft spaces of your ears.
I’ve searched for years to find a way
To absolve my own indiscretions.
Looking underneath my rib cage hoping
That the bigger the space is
The more likely God’s to be found.

I’ve been looking for God
Inside the notebooks my friends give me;
Desperate attempts to channel my
Frenzied cycling thoughts,
Because there must be a better way to repent
For the time that wasn’t spent
In your good graces.

I’ve been looking for God
For over 24 years
To make sense of the recurring kismet
That draws me to you.
I still can’t find her but I think she lives
In the way you pronounce my name
Like a hymn.

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