I would crawl into it
to get away from the world
all its noises and lights
I’d pull the door shut
tight behind me
slide the clothes aside
bury myself behind them
tucked into the dark
my breathing slowing
sometimes I’d hear
my mother come calling
hear her walk into the room
I stayed still and quiet
holding my breath
until she left
then I would exhale
unfurl myself and return
as though I had never been away
[Prompt Twelve: closet]
I love the flow and imagery of this poem. There are two places where I would change word tense and/or punctuation for emphasis: my breath slowing as opposed to my breathing slowing and, an em dash after
” world” and “calling” just to add emphasis.
I love this poem reminding me of the need as a child to find those quiet alone places. My favourite bit is the unintentional (?) rhyme in this phrase. It intensifies the feelings of the little girl for me.
I stayed still and quiet
holding my breath
until she left
This was the exact memory experience I’d wanted to write when I saw the ‘closet’ prompt, you’ve captured it so well. I like the pared-down form and the slightness of tension with the verbs (shut tight, bury, tucked, hold my breath) The ending is perfect!
We all need places like this. Love this! Well done.
Feel free to review my poems, too. Thanks!
loved the feeling. I had similar feelings of “hiding away!” You captured it.