I have many wonderful talents, abilities, skills

I can get a group of crazy seven year-olds to be quiet for like a minute and a half, just long enough to take roll call

I can solve any imaginary hurt with my box of band-aids

I can ask probing questions- “Why is there a frog in your desk?”

I can give thoughtful advice- “We don’t lick our friends’ knees.”

I can give thoughtful, lifelong advice- “We don’t lick anyone’s knees.”

I can read upside down, write upside down, and if needed I can hold a small child upside down

I can tell what the kid in the 3rd row is about to do to the kid in the 2nd row without even turning around

I can stop an insurrection with just one look

I can sing endless verses of Down By the Bay

I can create anything out of toilet paper tubes, Elmer’s glue and ten pounds of glitter

I can eat faster than any animal on earth and hold my bladder for days

I can negotiate parent conferences, admin observations, and school performances with finesse

I can make up stories about buying 68 watermelons, because everyone buys 68 watermelons

I can spend my nights and weekends grading papers, preparing lessons, and picking up extra supplies

I can live off coffee, chocolate, and sunshine

I can do this all with a smile

Because I teach, that’s my super power