9 – Mom, this year…

She doesn’t take my calls anymore. She “… just doesn’t feel like talking right now.”  ever. Her needs are bigger now than a year ago; her wants are small and mostly focused on ignoring her needs.

I don’t know her anymore, It has been a year, and I don’t know her anymore. That is one of her wants, me not knowing her anymore, me not checking in to make sure she is eating and drinking water, and taking  her medications. She likes the quiet of me not checking. She likes the peace of eating  Malamars for dinner, unquestionably. She likes the absence of me, and this thrills the will hovering otherchildren so much that they brought in a puppy. They feed it, and put it out to potty, and leave it on her lap all day and night…

anything to keep her from picking up the phone and remembering that she loves me.

 

Elizabeth Fellows

6/27/2020, 11am

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