I sip my coffee carefully in the small cafe.
Carefully lift my scone, cutlery and napkin in turn.
I arrange them to my liking; I organise my space.
I sip my coffee carefully in the small cafe.
Shopping bags lean persistently against my ankles,
Heavy as small friendly dogs on the edge of sleep.
I sip my coffee carefully in the small cafe.
The waitress notes a fine young man easing his way into the queue.
I see her look away and smile as she tucks her hair carefully behind an ear.
I sip my coffee carefully in the small cafe.
Observe two ladies push unspoken thoughts across their plates
Then lift sweet-crumbed fingers to their mouths; tasting the words they have not said.
That third stanza is delightful. Made me smile!
Thank you! You find all life (and interaction) in a coffee shop, don’t you?!
Really love the subtleties of these observations, in what is seen and in what is perceived. Lovely.
Thank you! I’m a real people-watcher when I’m out for a coffee – as I’m sure most writers are!
Still Life with Coffee! <3
Absolutely! What a brilliant phrase! That’s made me smile 🙂
Tasting the words they have not said
Loved the imagery of that
Thank you! I was so sneakily watching the ladies who were sitting at the table next to mine (and trying not to get caught looking). This phrase came to mind as I saw them carefully mopping up crumbs…and not saying much!
I like this poem, especially the subtle observations and the economy of words in describing the cafe and the feelings of being there.
The exercise of the repeated line seems a bit forced, although it is effective. When you edit you might consider not making the repeats so rigidly alike.
That’s a good point, Paul: I’ll definitely take a look at this when I get to editing these poems – thank you!
A very good example of a “small” observation poem that captures a moment and cherishes it.
I cherish the shopping bags heavy as small friendly dogs. Well done.
(Note: If you removed “carefully” from your refrain-line, you’d have a perfect pentameter!)
Thank you! I’m delighted with your recommendation for the refrain-line: I’m always happy to embrace a good pentameter! 🙂