Got to thinking today
If you had lived
If I had carried you to term
If we had finished what we started
You would be about 14 now
We’d be worried about sex
Fighting over curfews
And doing your chores
I would be practiced at being a mom
You’d be lost between being
A small child
And a blossoming adult
I would watch you with pride
Be disappointed if you failed
You’d be thinking about driving
Wondering about high school
Imagining your wedding day
And how many kids you would have
Your dreams would be Oscars and Emmys
Grammys and being president
You would be dreaming of long travels
To foreign lands
You’d be learning to be brave and generous
Selfish and timid
Reckless and responsible
You’d be looking in the mirror
Conscious of your clothes
Worried over a pimple
Brushing your hair over and over again
If you had lived
If I had carried you to term
If we had finished what we started
You’d be 14 now
You would hold my imagination
Rather than being a figment of it
You would be beautiful and smart
Awkward and helpless
Strong and dependant
And I would smile and worry
You are the child I never knew
But who lives in my heart
Every single day
For fourteen years
