Belvedere, my partially mechanical dog is my honey bun. Hate him! Oh, but I need him (Sacre bleu. I forget he can read.) Anyway, I never wear “Daisy Dukes”. You know those short, short, too short shorts he would love to see me in.

I’m too sexy as it is, so why torture the masses any more than necessary? Anyone getting close would realize that my pores are always moist, never sticky, have a wavy feel and smell like vanilla a flavor my ear finds gritty and in fact sound like pepples under my work boots to my nose.

Now my ear is hungry. I will shop for food tomorrow since Belvedere still hasn’t learned how to use the toilet but can shop like a haunted Baskerville!

My ears love the taste of artichokes. The grappling, ripping of leaves, the greenness, ah the snipping of the tips, just luscious! Belvedere loves the tips!

I studied physics which contradicts all my cartoon physics, as i was explaining to Belvedere while we were watching television together. How could that be? We all know that if I fall from a height, I would fly and my short shorts (Yes, I wear them) would balloon open and air out spaces(ahem) and lift me to the stars. I just have to keep reminding him to stop “thanging” me! Belvedere knows how to mix his own drinks! . I’m tired of Belvedere ‘s nickname for me too, “HH”. He explains means Hey Human. Some nerve!

Well, guess what? HH (moi) bought pliers with silencers.I used them when I crept up on drunk Belvedere. Now i can eat my honey buns, in my long pants. My ears are drooling. DMW