the other side
The man was okay. Wasn’t he?
He might have been able to help.
Instead he’s stormed off somewhere.
We both seem dazed.
Standing around listlessly.
We should decide. Risk petrol.
Or just go.
Out of nowhere, the man reappears
Now pointing a gun. I scream.
Wish I could say I don’t
But I do. Ryan acting tough.
I’m not hearing anything
Trying to talk him down.
Put the gun away.
Asking if he’ll let us go.
One of you maybe.
He looks at me. Suddenly creepy.
How could I have ever/
Ryan saying okay
getting out the keys
I can’t believe/
Throws them past the guy.
First thought, he was aiming at him
He grabs me.
I’m dragged behind, hand clutching his
Don’t want to let go.
Don’t want to fall over.
But the keys, I splutter
My house keys, hurry hurry.
We both fall in. Almost easily.
He starts the ute, pulls away.
Feel terrible I doubted him.
Can’t believe. I actually thought he’d/
Gunshots. Louder than they ought.
But I think they missed. By a long way.
Shotgun pellets would scatter widely
At this range.
Drive in silence for a long time.
Want to say sorry.
But he won’t know what for.
You create strong tension from the first stanza and have it build consistently. Each time the gun is mentioned, a new surprise comes. Quite a powerful story within these stanzas!
Thanks heaps. For all your comments so far. They’re insightful & detailed. Much appreciated.
Just so you know poems 15, 18, 19, 23 are all part of a post-apocalyptic YA verse novel I’m working on. It tells the story of an unknown invasion which wipes out the bulk of humanity. The survivors do so only because they don’t breath the airborn pathogen (hence the underwater references). I was torn between following the prompts or trying to base all 24 poems of the marathon in that sequence — in the end I did the smarter thing I think & adapted several of the prompts to accomodate the novel. I only wish I’d started doing it earlier 😂
Forget to mention
Poems in the sequence are voiced by two separate characters hence the companion poems 15 & 19