Dear Jan, You're on the plane to Madrid right now. It's the best decision you've made so far, and you've tended towards good decisions. But, well, you've been cautious and safe. Just know: Take more chances. Stroll those magnificent streets and alleys. Learn old people's names and all their stories. Master the cooking. Imitate the regional dances. Make Madrid your playground. Remember: parks every day. Sleep under the stars more on your tiny little balcony. Flirt with the men when you dance, and walk home with your best girfriends, one at each house in those streets you'll grow to love. Spend more time with families who embrace you as one of their own. You'll do these, I assure you, but do more. Dive in and keep taking those chances. You'll look back on this with great love. So beautiful and strong and independent already, be so - just more.
You made me cry!
My young daughter (20 years old today) leaves for Italy in January for an 18-month internship. Thank you for writing this just the way you did. True and clear. <3
Hello, Sarah,
Your daughter is about to have one of the grand adventures of a lifetime. If you can, go see her in her element. I’m going to look for your poems as well. What do you think you’ll submit in the anthology?
I’m gonna be tough love with you on this one.
I don’t like the first or last verse! There I’ve said it.
But I really REALLY love the middle verse — the advice is wonderful alive fresh bubbly charming etc etc.
I think if you’re brave you could complete cut 1&3. They’re a bit sledgehammery, like you don’t trust your readers to get it. But they will, they do. That middle verse just leaps laughingly off the page. It has all the energy of Madrid before you even arrive. Brilliant.
& one last thing. I’d add a line at the end of that (now only verse) something like:
But before all that, fasten your seatbelts/put your tray table up (something airplaney) because we’re coming in to land.
A line like that would give us an excellent energetic exit from the poem knowing JAN’S JUST ABOUT THERE!!!!
Can’t wsit to read more of yours x
Thank you for your feedback. Please do not worry about being “tough” with comments because that’s how I can make this better. I will work more on the “punch” of this, especially with the idea of arrival at that end. Are you still working on deciding what to submit? I hope so!
TBH I haven’t even though about what to submit if anything. I’m not fussed about that. I used three of the prompts to write new poems for my YA verse novel, so they’re out of contention; 2 or 3 have the potential to be published elsewhere so I’ll eork them up a bit, 4 or 5 are just me playing games/trying things I don’t normally do & aren’t really high quality, a few just aren’t plain good enough. So there’s not a lot of options left 😂😂😂