Will you hold me?
Through the darkest night
When I cannot see the light
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
After I’ve walked over fiery coals
When my dreams are filled with holes
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
When the wrinkles are on my face
And no longer I wear leather and lace
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
When my hair turns grey
For just another day
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
As I grow old
And my body turns cold
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
Kiss and hold my hand
Before they put me six feet in the sand
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
In your heart
Treasure my memories like fine art
Will you hold me
Will you hold me?
Through the darkest night
When I can no longer see the light
Will you hold me
I really love this poem and the progression you take. You ask the universal questions we all wonder about but are often afraid to ask. It resonates.
You might consider asking will you hold me once rather than twice each time (or putting both on the same line) and following it with a blank line. That way it makes the reader pause to reflect. (Perhaps you had line breaks, I know formatting can be wonky.)
Great job! 🙂
Thank you, I appreciate your words. Yes, this was my first time here and it should have been broken into 4 lines each… separated by 2 blank lines but in my haste I messed up…
Love the anxious repeat of ..will you hold me…. the imagery of fiery coals and dreams with holes was striking. Great job!
Thank you so much, I did enjoy writing this one…
I’m a fan of repetition used well to create a poem with good imagery and flow. You did, indeed, use it well!
This is melancholic and beautiful. The questioning illicits a human sadness. The fact of it’s over riding theme reads like a song.
Ahhh Thank you…. would be kind of Cool to have someone sing it…
Lol. I so happen to be a singer-songwriter. 😂 we could work something out 👌💯
perhaps that could be fun…