Ship
While over looking the sea
One day
I saw a ship vanishing at the horizon
That made me realize
I can’t see the ship
But it continues to sail
There are things we don’t know exists
But they do
Out of sight
Not out of existence
Dear Past Me – Hour 11
I’m sorry to tell you this
But you chose wrong
My chance is already gone
But yours is not, little miss
I let myself guide me through all of this
It wasn’t bad, but also not my very best
All those wrong decisions – oh, please, they were my guest!
But you can do better, little miss
You can still choose your path
You can still make the right choice
Get better, and become a loud voice!
Just don’t end up as me – an unlucky wrath
Then again, what if life already planned it out like this?
Hour 11 – Dear Crystal, circa September 2007
Dear, Crystal, circa September 2007–
This is your 33 year old self. [I know you don’t like math, the year is 2019.] I remember you. And wanted to drop down a rope ladder for you to climb out of your early 20s.
I was thinking about you and everything that’s happening. About now your home has been surrounded by a half circle of law enforcement from across the state. You can see the jagged flashes of red and blue light smacking against the basement windows. I know you’re scared. Please know that none of this is about you.
You won’t get this for a few more years, but darling, you are a queen. Read quickly, now! The man with the lightning blue eyes will ask you if you “want to be another ‘inner city youth’ gone wrong.” He is an angler – do not fall for the bait. Throw your pack of smokes on the bed if you don’t want your family to see them. Yes, that is America’s Most Wanted in the front yard. Write nothing on paper, they will use it to fuck you. None of this is about you. Hold your happiest of thoughts close to your chest. Sing your songs. We make it out of this one.
You don’t have long. I know you are reading this in the dark, rocking back and forth. Be gentle with yourself and to the people trying to love you through all that will happen. Know that everything you are about to experience will teach you more about the ways others will dismiss you on sight or pretend to see you. You will learn that kindness is most important to share when things get rough. And that the ability to trust others will return when you learn to trust yourself again.
Somewhere deep, you already know who you are. Let that guide you. We have turned into a compassionate, intelligent, and magical Black woman. That is because of you!
And, my dear, we are doing fabulously.
<3
-Crystal, Age 33
P.S. – You can always crash on my couch and pet my kitty.
The End of the World
I thought Eliot wrote,
“Not with a bang but with a whimper.”
I thought Stipe sang,
“And I feel fine.”
So why do I hear and feel
these gunshots?
I remember the beach being wider than this
bang!
I never see fireflies anymore
bang!
The weather can’t seem to decide what season it is
bang!
One hurricane after the next
bang!
One earthquake after the –
bang!
One flood after –
bang!
One blizzard –
bang!
I guess if there are enough bangs
all crammed together
with hands over our ears
it sounds like a whimper.
I feel afraid.
“Dear Debbie, Age 13 With Your Knee Injury”
You never even stopped to ask yourself,
Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?
Crazy Adventures lead to mishaps
That haunt you for awhile!
If your folks had been present,
You would have never ridden that bike through the wood!
You’ve always been to curious for your own good.
The rest of your life has been filled with pains and aches.
All because you gave it gas instead of using the brakes!
Several trips to the dentist, to fix your broken tooth you see.
Plus 3 times to surgery to fix your damaged Knee!
Some small words of advice; push forward, go slow, it’ll all be dandy.
Take it from me, I know, I keep several canes handy!
PS. Curiosity is not all it’s cracked up to be!
Sincerely,
Debbie, Ages older who’s now more careful with her knee!
Dear former self
Dear Maritza,
You are like a hurricane in harmony
Like a tornado with gentle wind
Able to challenge yourself to the limits
Never give up
Always positive even when days are gray
Keep it up!
(Free verse, Hour 11@Mejia2019)
(Hour 11) 08.30-09.30am. PROMPT, letterpoem to a former version of yourself
7 quick poems to previous versions of gareth
i. Dear gareth, Age 4 Arranging Paper Words On Gran & Grandad’s Dining Room Floor
Not got much to say to you, buddy.
You seem to be doing ok, so far as I can see.
ii. Dear gareth, Age 12 About To Read “Lord Of The Rings” For The First Time
It’s a Friday after school.
You’ve just stumbled across
A cool looking book.
The Fellowship of the Ring.
The first of three.
Do yourself a favour.
Get books II & III too.
Then you won’t have to wait
Till Monday to find out
What happens to the all the little hobbitses.
iii. Dear gareth, Age 22 Before She’s Actually Walking Out the Door
For god’s sake you fucking great fool.
Try harder.
You’ll always regret you didn’t.
iv. Dear gareth, Age 23 Making Love In The Thunderstorm By The Ressie
While you’re having a good time
can I ask you to pay a bit more attention
cos while you might think you’ll remember
how it felt, I can assure you a quarter century on
You won’t.
v. Dear gareth, Age 22-44
Deal with your grief sooner.
It makes life easier.
& you might have avoided the black hole of 39.
vi. Dear gareth, Age 39
I know. I remember.
Strive for peace.
vii. Dear gareth, Age Right Now
I really suggest ending this poem
& going to the loo to pee.
Advice to former incarnations is one thing
But listening to your bladder
is the profoundest thing I’ve got left to say going forward.
The Clock (Poem #11)
I’m laying here
Staring at the ceiling
Wondering how to make time go faster
Do I want to rewind and go back?
Do I want to fast forward and get further?
I don’t know if I want to go backward or forward
At this point
Now it’s been half the time
Half of three months
It’s been so long
But yet gone so fast
I just can’t decide
If I could go back
Would I?
If I did that I could change the choice I made
I could have stayed behind
I could have stayed close to you
Or do I want to finish this up
Just a little more time apart
Just a few more weeks without you
I know I can do this
But staring at the clock
The clock is a trickster
Playing with my head
Teasing my emotions
The clock is cruel
Then it hits me
I am learning so much from you clock
The distance
The separation
The time away
The space between
I have a weird relationship
An odd but definitely needed time
Now I want to thank you
You’ve taught me so much
I’m actual thankful
Thank you clock
Time is so precious
We must cherish every second
Thank you clock
Hour 11: Dear Rose, Age 18
Dear Rose, age 18
It won’t be as much fun as you think.
I could explain, but you won’t believe me.
– Your Future Self
Dear Abigail
Dear Abigail, how I love and miss you so
The strong winds blow and chill our bones
We find ourselves trying not to freeze in the valley down below
Trying to forge a new history one we can call our own
Some men are faced with frailty and cannot bear the pain
Others just stare at nothing and fail to be with us today
But others still blaze fortunes and bleed red upon the snow
For in their bravery we still find the truth we all have known
The battles strong and fierce, I pray for deliverance today
But I know I am one of the only, that can persevere through the pain
We fight for a new nation, conceived in liberty
How I hope I can see it, with you standing near to me.