Molasses eyes, vertiginous depths, tender in gaze, opened to me,
abated my fear, born inside.
Velvet hands of strength smoothed my tears; you spoke of hope and held me close.
Distance called, left me cold, until heaven claimed you, and the earth kept you.
Scarring my heart.
Day breaks, the southern orb of light.
Sent to a new world. Red dirt, blades of emerald, mountains and valleys,
Egypt out my window, the Sub down the road from where I slept.
Faith our life, integrity our choice.
Relationships made, honor and excellence our oath.
The creed of our breath, our heartbeat, lived to the hilt till that world just a memory.
Family you were. Love you, I did. Love you, I do.
But too different was I for you.
My face hidden in the shadows, slapped cold with rejection as you lived on.
On butterfly wings I flew, from roots to you.
Creations waiting, new lives budding.
How much I loved you. How much I still do.
Did you know the battles I waged and lost for you?
Did I fail you?
Close my eyes, and feel the loss of the hundred smiles, the thousand tears,
the adventures of wilderness and trails.
Night time songs and hugs forever gone.
Grew wings, you did, and moved on. My hand and smile waving you on.
But I still miss you.
Turned the corner, graduating from war.
New hope, completely whole, till you.
Draining the poison of you from my veins,
Can’t bleed fast enough, years move too slow.
Raped my heart, sardonic laughter in your eye.
Sadistic, sociopathic revelry in your lies
tore at the scars in my heart.
I wait for hell to claim you, and the earth to keep you.
Sharp, cold steel, cut my body new.
Surgical hands, deft and soft, heal what is broken.
God gifted hands, take back what was stolen
And let me mend in the warmth of compression.
Quickly, without delay. And life will renew.
Memories I see. They do not fade.
Moons pass, suns rise, too many lunars and solars have gone by.
I see your face. Though you see not mine, I love you.
If apology is needed, forgive me.
I could not be perfect. I could not be more. I could not be less.
Oh molasses eyes, visit my sleep, hold my heart.
Honor bound friends, I forget you not.
Butterflies of creation, the jewels of my night sky.
Poison purged, I breathe again.
Surgeon hands, I wait for your elixir.
If all fails and goes awry,
I’ve known you. Loved you.
If all fails, then farewell.
I will remember you into eternity.
(Responding to image 3)
THE PATH OF LONELINESS
I lay under the midnight stars
And dream of a life I have never known.
I am not sleeping, nor awake
As the coyotes howl in the distance.
Their haunting cry echoes the pain in my heart.
Because I chose the path of loneliness.
They are summoning, perhaps,
Another lone heart to share in their sorrow.
But their union is not a ceremony of mourning.
It is a celebration of mutual and subtle joy.
They have found comfort in each other.
Yet I chose the path of loneliness.
As the two are remembering together
The shadows of their lives are forgotten forever.
The howling dies.
In the silence of the late summer night, another suffering can be heard.
The sound of a human heart breaking.
Because I chose the path of loneliness.
In reality, the sound is but a memory,
It’s shrill tone heard only by me.
Once I loved.
Still I lie beneath the frozen stars
And dream of a life that could have been.
A life of meaning, a life of hope,
A life of knowing who I am.
But I chose the path of loneliness.