He said “I didn’t mean to.”
He said “You know I would never hurt you.”
He said “But I love you”
Everything he said was a lie.
From the beginning it had all been a fucking lie.
He planned this.
From the moment he called and asked if his “best friend” would mind bringing him a pack of cigarettes and a soda and he would pay me when I got there.
It was a lie and I was simple and naive enough to believe it.
Captain save a hoe to the rescue.
See girl that’s why your mama always told you to sit your ass down.
Always told you to stop trying to have friends all the time.
I should have listened to mama.
Now I’m laying here sobbing and saying “no”.
Now I’m stuck.
Assaulted first by your hands.
Hands always so rough from years of farm work. A good country boy. I used to think they were nice. Now so rough, could they be knives instead? Because they are killing me. Cutting me to shreds but I cannot die. Why can’t I die? I have never wanted to more than in This Moment.
A mouth.
The same mouth spewing Venom.
Toxic words.
“I love you.”
A mouth replaces the knives.
A mouth soils me further.
Trash.
Broken.
Damaged goods.
That’s what I am now.
A final death blow.
The dagger to my heart.
Why is it called a penis?
It should be called a shotgun because with each pump it is spraying lead everywhere.
Shrapnel everywhere.
Explosives everywhere. Live bombs.
I am now a war zone.
The dead and broken lay on this battlefield. A Battlefield sopping wet with blood. Gettysburg 3.0.
Death has Dominion here now.
A final blow.
A gift you left inside me. Meant to grow and torture me for all eternity.
“I loved you.”
“I missed you.”
“Did you like it as much as I did?”
Shotgun to the Head.
I’m dead.