Painful Query

You haunt my future and sear my soul, with ominous unpleasant doings.

I don’t want to acknowledge you

But I fail to Ignore you

Do I dig in and stay for the revolution?

Or do I close my eyes and simply salt my wounds?

The page opens to snow on a field: boot holed month, black hour/ the bottle in your coat half vodka half winter light./ To what and to whom does one say yes?

Excerpt from Elegy – Carolyn Forche

Poem one

His eyes are ice
His souls is dark
He never sees me
Yet I still try
I look in to his eyes
Try finding his soul
Hoping that I will change him
But he never will

Unpublished

Your love unpublished

With promise

No grace

Your face

I don’t look anymore

The tapping of the piano cords

A voice I could not hear

The haunting touch

A cold kiss

The dark a shadow of U….

 

 

Today

Love is here. I feel so happy and blissed out. Is this really my life?

Nobody is GIVING me love. No platters are being handed out with that delicious entree. It resides fully within me. And I radiate it out. Can you feel it?

I am love. Loving. Lovely.

Boots

I play under

beech trees

as if boots

kicking me

are not real.

Your laughter

jars me more

than boots.

Leprechauns peek out

from the ferns.

I can’t decipher their words,

which drop to the ground

like bark from the beech.

 

 

Confessions of a Former Stalker (#3)

It was easier in the 90s
Under cover of anonymity

I called
Every day
For months

His voice was Jones-deep
Hypnotic
Rumbled in my chest like thunder
Heart fluttered, a caffeinated hummingbird on crack
I couldn’t help it

I just wanted to hear it over and over again
Like he spoke just to
Me
Hi
Leave a message

I called
Every day
For months

What did he think when he came home
Exhausted
Night after night,  to the
Sound of exhaled breath and the
Telephonic orchestra of clicks?
Ding, Dong, Ditch
Press button, run away
Hide

Did he daydream?
Wonder if shy caller’s breath was sweet?
Replay clicks, and
Hope?

I called
Every day
For months

Silence

The hum of the refrigerator

The scratch of the dog’s claw’s on the door

Bird songs in the distance

It’s very quiet, but

There is no such thing as silence

 

#2 Kill me slowly.

Kill me slowly
Kill me slowly

1. To whom does your heart belong?

If not to me; the rose, nor to the thorn?

Into the wilderness, my dear,

the solitude, in which it was born.

 

2. Past be done,

long gone forgotten.

Breathe in this free air now,

I’ve chosen for you.

Oh my dear,

you touched my heart.

I am free with you,

or so I thought?

 

3. I saved you from storms,

I healed you scars.

I loved you when you were,

nothing but a broken heart.

 

It’s true you saved me,

and I owe you my life,

But sometimes I still wonder,

if I sucked you in my strife.

 

4. It doesn’t matter to me,

I only live for your smile.

If that’s what it takes,

I will walk with you in the aisle.

 

It might not to you,

but you do matter to me.

I will not let you deprive,

yourself all the love you need.

 

5.  Oh leave me alone now,

I got my answer.

You just don’t love me,

the way you loved her.

 

Oh my dear,

I do love you.

But I don’t know if as a friend,

or rebound from somebody I used to know.