Sometimes I feel like I’m dying outside of your walls.
I’m not giving up on you but maybe I need a minute to find myself.
Because you got me feeling crazy over you.
I was praying for you for my whole life. I just didn’t know it.
My heart was a hardened dead thing until you beat it to life.
If I scream it to the world would you finally hear the words inside?
And I wonder if you see the words stuck in my eyes.
They say everything I can’t bring from my lips.
It’s another night unraveling the seams from these dreams.
I’m writing you into these books maybe you won’t read.
You’re part of my story.
You bled yourself in between every line until you were brought to life.
I poured every ounce of myself out to try to make you smile.
I lit myself on fire to try to defrost your defenses.
I made myself the joke just to hear you laugh.
Now here I am with nothing left.
Contemplating your missing shadow with something akin to tenderness.
Got stuck in your games and missed every step I was supposed to make.