Dear Dad,

Why did you hav to go? I miss you so.

You died with a smile. But when I found you with your last breath your mouth was  ajar. You were warm to the touch as I turned you over to dress you and your nails were perfect like seashells.

We dressed you in a grey cotton shirt Bob Marley shirt and a black sport leisure pants I was keeping for you when you came back to visit me out west.

I want to try things to be closer to you.

Im not a smoker not I ever be like Clinton, can I puff without inhaling?

I’m no longer shy to try. Or at least that’s what I say.

Of course I need a sacred experience. In the meantime I’ll read the books your did, maybe not as judiciously as you.

I’ll try an audio book so I can also do the exercise routine that you created and taught me.The routine  you are so fond of doing five days a week.

I’m still a pro at he five minute plank.

My tummy needs some tightening because like you I have a sweet tooth. Thanks for calling  me to meal plan and always talking me about my health. It meant so much to me hearing your  voice. I knew you were tired and now I  understand that extreme fatigue and even slight dehydration are serious signs before an all systems down failure.

You did not experience pain. We wanted to make your bed as comfortable as could be. They tried to give you medicine in excess. We know you needed the rest.
Your visions were vibrant and vidid. Your visions clear.  We stayed with you at home till the very end. Mom and both my brother and I did not understand how water, the giver of life, was not longer allowed.

This was another one of the harsh realities.

I would love to do more than a meditation with the family.  You are my best student. I willl be a teacher, a photography teacher like you. What a coincidence. I want to travel too. I love the world and learning about science, nature, and culture  the threshold of the esoteric. Please continue to send me signs as the eye are over and my ear  is too.

I love you.  We all do. Sending love from the three of us.