And severally
I try to reach for the phone
To call you
But, I am unsure of your reception
The few times I had called you
Your voice, your tone screamed cold indifference
But the urge to call rests strong upon me
No matter how much I struggle to repress it
Subconsciously, I reach again for the phone, hating myself and maybe, you
I check out your number
And peer at your face which you’ve used as your display picture
I tell myself….you’re not worth the trouble
And chant it several times
And then I let my phone lie
But, my hand subconsciously reaches for it, again