Forgiving yourself

To be repentant of one’s

Old ways

When does this really stop?

 

You forgive yourself and

Others time and time again

And still there is a lesson

To be learnt

 

When it rears its ugly head

Discipline, planning and calculations

Doesn’t set the scene to stop the old ways

They creep up on you

When you least expect it

 

There are some behaviours

You can say good bye to

Yet other ones the insidious ones

The more subtle ones can be hidden

Suddenly rushing to the surface

 

A wave hits you and then another

Then suddenly that hidden hell

You try to avoid is back alive and well

 

A mocking laugh

A loud ‘I told you so!’

Is ringing in my ears

How do I get this to stop?

I sit there feeling small and vulnerable

Curled up in a ball

I pray silently for it to stop

 

Then all of a sudden the waves stop crashing

And the voice stops ringing in my ears

 

I feel the sun licking on my cheeks

I taste the salt in my mouth

It’s not the residue of the waves

But the tears streaming down my cheeks

 

I look up to the sky and I feel a

Warm embrace

A gentle stroking of my hair and

A soft whisper

‘You’ll be fine little one,

Trust more and I will carry you through

Turbulent waters to safety

Trust and don’t forget your

Own power

Blessed be’

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