The stronger the better, until my hands shake and palpitations reverberate in my ears. Until I'm so manic I become willing to subject myself to work. It was never about needing energy. I drank you for motivation to continue and honestly, I couldn't brew enough of you. Now you have betrayed me. Our relationship is no longer as indulgent. Somewhere along the way the accelerated thinking took a dark turn, I experienced the abyss too real, came to know those palpitations as fleeting seconds on a clock. The increments I ingest you with are more measured, watered down, controlled. Too much of you is crippling, mind petrified by the worries of existence, anxiety amped up on a burning fuel of self-collapse.
Ah, caffeine! It really does make us stressed. I think you’ve captured the complex relationship with coffee well. And good use of the concept of change!
I adore how you walk this line between adoration and exorcism in this piece. The humour is clever and cheeky. My favorite line (though it was difficult to choose) was: “Too much of you is crippling,
mind petrified by the worries of existence,
anxiety amped up on a burning fuel of self-collapse.” The last part of it hitting the hardest, imo.