24 Poems ~ 24 Hours
Is a member of the dandylion collective, a small writers' group based in South Australia. He is primarily a poet, who strangely, enjoys drinking wine (his predilection is Sauvignon Blanc, bubbles is second preference, & is also partial to pretty much anything else - except red bubbles, urrrgh!). In 2014, he co-edited the Friendly Street Poets Annual Anthology 38 "The Infinite Dirt" ... ... & co-edited it again in 2020, Anthology 42, titled simply "Q" (& if you remember the weirdness of that year, you'll soon understand why) ... as well as judging the SAETA Awards for that year. 2019 Two chapbooks published "the soft humus of sleep" & "the loam of our dreams" 2012 a solo collection ‘Gunyah’ Healing published as part of Friendly Street Poets New Poets 17 in 2012 (along with John Pfitzner & Rachael Mead). He has been published in Eureka Street & InDaily Poet's Corner; as well as poems in The Infinite Dirt, Patterns of Living, Light and Glorie, Flying Kites, dB magazine, Iron Lace & others. Career highlights include: having his poem “Many-Worlds Quantum Mechanics Vs Earth-Based Grease Monkeys” published in The Best Australian Science Writing 2013; winning Second Place & $1000 for writing a poem on a pretty obscure topic after finding a competition which closed in 6 hours that same day; & having “i thought the moon was a cop car in my rear vision mirror as i drove home late last night …” short listed for the 2012 Satura Prize, 2014 WP Yeats Poetry Prize, 2015 Interstellar Award among others.
Arrrrghhh this was a tough one. Ended up creating a so-so poem using a range of pick n mix candy/sweet names.
#26
fruit sours
& an apple drops
as the flying saucer
sherbets overhead
skittles warheads
toxic waste
atomic fireballs
liquorice ropes
with a sour
rainbow twist
#1. First one of the lot 🙂
Two fairytale-esque pieces that I was working on simultaneously & ran out of time on each. The Mother Goose mash-up replaces the traditional end of lines from the nursery rhyme, with the relevant bingo call. The plot, such that it is, kinda dictated itself based on the pre-exisiting rhymes.
#32
There was a young gal covered in tattoos
Who only knew how to buckle her shoes
—–—–But would Cinderella
—–—–Have landed her fella
If she wore more than ink … & her Jimmy Choo’s
*****
A Dark Mother Goose Bingo Mashup
One, two,
—–all you can do is buckle your shoe;
Three, four,
—–wait for that knock at the door;
Five, six,
—–when silent screen hero Tom Mix;
Seven, eight,
—–rides up to the garden gate:
Nine, ten,
—–finally you’ll be free of Dave’s Den;
Eleven, twelve,
—–one dozen years here you’ve dwelled
Thirteen, fourteen,
—–since Valentine’s Day 2003;
Fifteen, sixteen,
—–sweet sixteen never been seen
Seventeen, eighteen,
—–coming of age, living in a cage
Nineteen, twenty,
—–one score to settle, none too gently
#26. Hmmm, could be tricky…
PS now have 3 out 5 for my first possible BINGO of the day.
#65
The end of entitlement, or how to get a Newstart in life
the wisdom of Treasurer Joe Hockey on how to work the system
despite industrialisation taking jobs away &/or offshore
our beloved bumbler, believes we should now all work
til we’re 70 before becoming eligible for the age pension
free visits to a doctor, free welfare — no such thing
it’s a safety net, not a cargo net, unless you’re a whale
so here’s some steps to get ahead courtesy of Count Flappy
1. (obviously) don’t get sick, or if you must, don’t visit your GP
2. if you’re poor, don’t drive cars (that’ll save you plenty)
then all you have to do is
3.
get a good job that pays good money
in order to buy your first home
a politician is a pretty good one (if you’re up for it)
then you can charge taxpayers $1000 a month
to sleep in your wife’s $2 million home
Here endeth the lesson.
(Except no doubt Mr Millipede
will put yet another gaffe prone foot
in his mouth again, within a week)
#32. Whoop-de-do!
Limericks are (supposedly) not limericks unless they are obscene, ergo, not one for the contemplated collection of children’s verse. I like limericks (at least today) cos this one has earned me a 40 minute break!
#10
There once was a man from Number 10
Downing Street — The PM’s Den.
————Although not politic
————he sure did like to lick
& stuck his tongue up many a hen.
#65. It’s doable. Possibly a political poem.
Five is my lucky number, so I was very pleased when this number came out of the hat. So much so I’ve got two poems up for your delectation. I wish I had a chance to give the first one, one more verse, but oh well.
#55
1.
snakes alive
give us a bunch
it’s all the fives
some famous
some jackson
& one renault
no prizes
for picking
the odd one
out
clearly the Renault 5
French supermini
aka Super 5
aka Supercinq
aka Le Car
true to its number
they built nearly
5.5 million of em
take that Timmy
& Tito too
*****
2.
— snakes alive!
the sort of
interjection
my mother
spouts at the footy
to vent her
frustration
contempt
disgust
with how
the game
is proceeding
& the players
performing
along with other
almost obsolete
idioms as:—
— alack & alas!
— boomshanka!
— ay, ay, chihuahua!
sometimes it seems
as if she wants to be a pirate
with her:— cor blimey!’s
— blooming heck!’s
— shiver me timber!ing
— gee whillikers!
— suffering suckatash!
& — gadzooks!
a vendetta
against god’s creatures:—
— loveaduck!
— leapin’ lizards!
— jiminy crickets!
— holy mackerel!
— ye gods & little fishes!
other times she berates
people not even present:—
— jumping Jehoshaphat!
— Jiminy Cricket!
— my giddy aunt!
— blimey charlie!
& then there’s the ones
that simply make no sense:—
— och aye the noo!
— pish posh migosh!
& — thunderations above!
& she wonders
why i’ve taken up
macramé
#10. Another low number. Though I think I’m due a short poem soon.
Hitting double digits on the poem count, the spoonfuls of coffee are getting bigger & I’ve had to do something I was hoping to avoid — making a kind of list poem using occurrences of things twenty — but I can’t get bogged down here… still 14 to go.
#20
20th in the letter lineup
T & the hebrew kaph
double x
in the roman way
two times double x
is perfect sight
6/6 the metric equivalent
(which doesn’t sound as cool)
a very fast form
of rock star cricket
the number of questions
you may ask me
the end of teenagerhood
the beginning of true angst
the third magic number
in physics
for calling egypt
calcium’s weight
the IAU shower number
for Coma Berenicids
(also not that impressive
it’s only a minor meteor after all)
& the number of matchboxes
to make a crap pop band
#55. Jackpot! This better be a goodun’.
#38
living in Oz
where Christmas
is in summer
& the temps are
usually in the high 30’s
i don’t think we’ve
ever had a special
Christmas Cake
Wikipedia tells me
a favourite of many
is the traditional Scottish
Christmas cake
the Whisky Dundee
— apparently the cake
originated in Dundee/
no need to go on
you had me at whisky
*****
as much as i like this one, I feel it is a bit cheeky, given I finished it in the first 9 minutes of the hour. so presenting a bonus poem on the same theme.
*****
Christmas Cake: or how to survive the festive season
a poetic recipe
Servings 10 (I have a large family, so this won’t be enough, I’ll be doubling the recipe)
Time 4 days approx (it won’t take that long, seriously: not the way I make it)
Difficulty moderate
Christmas cake is a fruitcake traditionally served around Christmas in the UK, especially after long walks to be had with tea. (Hahaha, yeah right.)
Ingredients
To make a round 10-inch diameter cake. (20-inch, we’re doubling remember)
The fruit
600 g currants
400 g sultanas
400 g glacé cherries, quartered
200 g raisins
100 g cut candied peel
200 ml sherry
100 ml brandy
50 ml kirsch (or rum)
The cake mixture
4 medium eggs
300 g lightly salted soft margarine
300 g dark brown sugar
100 g self-raising flour
200 g plain flour
100 g finely-chopped almonds
2 teaspoons of ground mixed spice
2 tablespoons of black treacle
Method
The fruit
Throw the fruit & cake mixture away. It’s an unnecessary distraction. Consume all the sherry, brandy & rum. (Remember we needed to double the recipe, possibly triple it, just to be safe.) Some people like to pour all three into a tall glass & drink as one, just to make it feel a bit more Christmassy, but separately is fine too.
The cake mixture
Did you not read above? Seriously!
Cooking
If you’re not cooked after this, make your way onto whatever remains in the bottles. You’re welcome. If this doesn’t help you survive the Silly Season, I really don’t think you’re trying hard enough.
#20. Not too bad. Three choices.
#21
if only i was
21 again
i’d be with you
all in the middle
of our mad glory
& this time
i’d appreciate it
(i promise)
it was just my age
which made me
act the fool before
they say
at 21 watch your son
they don’t tell you
after you’re given
the key to the door
which opens
onto white
you will lose it
then there will
be little more
that brings joy
all your guns
have gone off
& you’re left
with a roil salute
of silence
Sigh! #38. Only two words on this piece of paper.
seven dozen really inspire one — & at least one site suggests a modern call for #84 is Dumbledore, so it’s a no brainer
#84
Homage to the Old Bumblebee
born in Mould-on-the-Wold
a mildewing village, of honey
buzzes round his kingdom castle
bee-humming, pollenating minds
weight-of-the-wizard-world bearer
secretknower, secretkeeper, burdened
keeps the darkness at bay
through whimsy & play
eyes blue enough to pierce souls
twinklekind & full of mischief
the one who knows
but would rather not
but as someone must
— it is he who knows
At last! #21. Lots of choices at last.
#79
One more time
i want to stand beneath stars
looking back to the beginning
surf the wave, slide the rainbow
fall like a drop into your ocean
leap from clouds, all the cliches
with you … just one more time
put my arms round your neck
get nervous, run from trouble
into trouble, drive the dark road
i want to borrow time, steal it,
once upon it, machine it — all
one. more. time.
i just want to do these extra
ordinary things with you again
one more time
………………… … till the end of time
FFS! #84. I’m going batty.